Get It Straight Or Pay The Price!

Have mercy, I haven't blogged in ages. Even now, I'm thinking...what will I say? I got things to do, people! Surely a quick update is within my capabilities. (sucks in a deep breath...) Here goes:

• My brother Scott got married. There are photos on facebook if anyone is interested. I honestly mean to post more pictures here, but I'm not going to make promises I can't keep. If I feel more motivated, maybe I'll post some here. Anyway, the wedding was so pretty and it was a good day. Scott & Meggan did a lot of preparation and everything went smoothly. The wedding was held outside at an historical mansion in Tulsa. The weather cooperated, too.
• I have been made part-time at the radio station(s). Basically this means that I can operate the studio & sound board when a jock is on a remote. I'm not on the air. I have also taken a liking to production. We produce about 80% of our commercials in house. I've gotten to do some voice work on those, and I really like learning about the equipment and how that all works. I think I like that better than being in the actual studio! I feel like a bit of a gear-head.
• I am crafting a lot! You'd never know it from the sad, un-updated craft blog, but I'm making tons of sample cards. I hope to post some photos of those in the future. But, I have a bit of a problem there--I'm not super talented with photography, and I want the photos of my crafts to look somewhat polished. So, I was able to purchase Adobe Photoshop Elements, and I hope that will help me do some simple things like remove glare, soften edges and things of that nature. Also, my creative juice runs low when trying to stage a photo.
• Jeremy likes his work. He's so happy and motivated! Palliative Care is proving to be a medical and ministry position. I'm so proud of him, all the time. He works so hard and cares very much about his patients and co-workers. He works to be an advocate for them.
• It hardly seems possible that it is almost time for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We will spend Christmas in Oklahoma with some of my family.
• We're regularly attending a small group with Raintree Christian Church. However, we haven't placed membership anywhere yet. The small group has been quite nice, and intellectually stimulating. We'll be visiting the Broadway Church of Christ this week. We visited a large Methodist church, and boy did I love it. Mostly I loved the huge organ and high-churchy things (liturgical driven service). I don't think we'll attend there, but visits there are refreshing to me.

That is all.

Video Didn't Kill This Radio Star

A quick update: I'm working as an intern for a group of radio stations, and I really like it so far! I'm not on the air or anything, but I hope to be some day. Myself and the other intern (affectionately called the "wonder twins") do a lot of general stuff like data entry and running around, but it is really cool for me to see how a station works. Everyone I have met has been a pleasure and eager to help us learn.

It's also getting me out and providing me with an opportunity to meet people, about which I have prayed since we moved to Lubbock. I won't lie, it was a struggle during the first few weeks--only knowing 3 or 4 people in town. We've gone to a small group meeting with our friend C at the Independent Christian Church here, and plan to go some more. Loneliness is hard for me. I still deeply miss my friends from college, and I'm thankful that we still keep in touch on some levels. That in addition to missing our friends from med-school and Houston...it has been a lot with which to cope.

But, I do my best not to let my fears take hold. Each day is just one day, one set of 24 hours. I believe God cares for me, and that I serve a God of peace, a God of love, and a God that cares about every aspect of my life. Letting go of control is a "day at a time" process, I think. When you've programmed yourself to do certain things for so long, letting go of the control is like letting go of the life raft in the deep end of the pool. And yet, we float.

I'm off for an afternoon of learning. Friends, I love you all and miss you all. K, you'll be happy to know the Psalms have offered much comfort! I'm beginning to understand your fascination.

Give Love.

It's Alive!

Nope, I've not gone off and left the blog world, although I thought about it! I have a lot to tell which will most likely end up like one of those affairs where you are at a friend's home and they say "Oh gosh, let me show you the pictures from our family vacation..." or power point or slides or whatever. Not that I don't love that, I actually do. And, I'm not actually posting pictures right now. So maybe it's nothing like that. But whatevs.

We moved to Lubbock. No surprises, no glitches, PTL. The rent house is great, and will be open for guests soon (cough*Houston*cough).

We took a two week road trip with our six-year-old niece, Tori. She did really great and there weren't any major meltdowns. We did, however, learn all there was to know about Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers and Radio Disney (thx, Sirius). Here are the places/people we visited:

• Will & Alana (my brother and his wife) in Oklahoma City
• Sarah & Chris (friend from high school) in Oklahoma City
• Scott & Meggan (my brother and his fiance) in Tulsa
• Lazzeri, Gipson & Warfel families in Southern Illinois (my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins)
• Laura (my step mother) and Jenn B. (one of my homies) in Chicago
• Steve & Lorinna and crew in Dearborne, Michigan (friends we made in Houston)
• St. Louis for one night-not visiting anyone but the ST. LOUIS CARDINALS!

It was loads of fun and we have lots and lots of pictures that I'll post at another time when I can transfer them to my computer from Jeremy's. Total we drove over 3000 miles. It was a great way to see things. We listened to a lot of radio, played car games, and generally had a fun time.

We then came to Lubbock for a week and unpacked and washed laundry, then left for a week of rest in Gulf Shores, AL. My Aunt Becky and Uncle Eric go every year. There were 11 of us total on this trip: Me, Jer, Becky, Eric, Nick (my cousin)-and folks that are not related to me but a total hoot: Bill, Kay, Judy, Tom, Paula & Morgan. We stayed in a 5 bed/4 bath condo on Orange Beach, and it was BEAUTIFUL. We had great weather all week. I have some good photos from that too.

We came home to a visit from my mother-in-law and brother-in-law and Grandmother Cooper. She helped me sew fabric panels we are using to divide a large front room. She was a complete treat to work with, and I think we chatted more than we ever have. She let me ask all kinds of questions and told me about sewing back in her day, when she made a living as a seamstress. I loved that.

I've found an OA group here that is small and sweet and helping me on that journey. We've been visiting churches and praying about the right place to land. No decisions on that front as of yet. We finally changed our phone numbers. Everything is feeling a bit more real now! Jeremy finally got his own Mac and he loves it! We joined a gym and it is really great. It is attached to Jeremy's hospital system here. It's on the 6th floor of the parking garage, and doesn't have a particularly "gym" feel to it, but I really like it. There are a lot of what seems to be 65+ folks working out there, and it's awesome. I'm going to try the yoga and water aerobics classes.

I'm in the process of putting together a home office/studio for my crafts. Watch for more posts on the craft blog in the coming weeks, namely for the opening of an Etsy (www.Etsy.com) store if I can get some samples made. To begin it will most likely be cards and tags. I'm super excited for that frontier. In unpacking my supplies, it has boggled me how much I really have! I won't need to buy supplies for a LONG time. I also save scraps and have a lot of ideas for them, too.

So, that's it for now. Here are our numbers:

B (806) 773-2271

J (806) 773-2291

Address:

2118 65th Place

Lubbock, TX 79412

Some Songs and Stuff

These two songs have been on constant rotation on the iPod/CD player for the last week or so. Not because they're the greatest things ever written, but right now they are speaking to me.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time - It's easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
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Sometimes my life just don't make sense at all.
When the mountains look so big, but my faith just seems so small.
So hold me, Jesus, 'Cause I'm shaking like a leaf.
You have been king of my glory, won't you be my prince of peace.

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark.
It's hot inside my soul, I swear there must be blisters on my heart.
So hold me, Jesus, 'Cause I'm shaking like a leaf.
You have been king of my glory, won't you be my prince of peace.

Surrender don't come natural to me.
I'd rather fight you for what I don't really want,
Than take what you give that I need.
And I've beat my head against so many walls,
That I'm falling down, falling on my knees.

And the Salvation Army band was playing this hymn,
And your grace rang out so deep,
It made my resistance seem so thin...

So hold me, Jesus, 'Cause I'm shaking like a leaf.
You have been king of my glory, won't you be my prince of peace.
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No hidden meanings in these really. The lyrics speak for themselves. I find them comforting right now.
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Laura came through surgery just fine. She is recovering at home with the help of friends and her sister. She will meet with an oncologist soon, to determine a plan of treatment. We will see her in July. I miss her. We have such good conversation together.
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Through a conversation with one of my friends, we got onto the topic of meekness. I don't think I've ever considered meekness, especially with regard to Jesus' words in Mt. 5--the beatitudes, the sermon on the mount--"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." I confess--I've always equated meekness with shy and weak. However, I now don't think that's what it means. I have no clear definition at this point. Another of Rich's songs says "I will sing for the meek, those who pray with their very lives for peace. Though they're in chains for a higher call, their mourning will change to laughter when the nations fall." This confuses me more, because I don't understand the lyric. Not that I need Rich Mullins to define all of Scriptures Deep Meanings And Truths, but I often glean understanding within his interpretation. So, I've set myself up for a bit of digging and learning about meekness. Makes me wish I'd paid more attention to Dr. Ham in Life of Christ (and Greek for that matter). One could get tied up in the meanings of the beatitudes for centuries (and have!). Comments welcome on this topic.
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Rent house in Lubbock is secured. We took lots of measurements of walls and windows, and not one stinking picture. I'm checking out fabric this weekend for possibilities of making curtains. I would like it to be fabric I can repurpose later, should it not be used for curtains any more. Houston house will be re-listed today. New realtor, new strategy.
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Looking forward to Galveston get-a-way. Looking forward to summer road trip with Jeremy and my six-year-old niece. Counting down the days to vacation in Gulf Shores.
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Radio possibilities cropping up all over the place. I will be confident enough in myself to investigate them for real this time. No more wondering. Time to try. Time to stop living in fear of failure.

Not Today

I no longer refer to periods of my life as "...going well" or "...going good." This simply makes times in my life that are less than good seem more prominent.

In blunt terms, we have been hit hard by several occurances in the last two weeks. 3 extended family members have passed away--Jeremy's great aunt (Thelm), a cousin of Jeremy's (Jerry), and my great uncle (Tom). Thelm and Tom were siblings of our grandparents. Jerry was a 2nd cousin to Jeremy, and he was in a car accident. Last week my step-mother Laura went to the emergency room for some issues and has had some testing. It is most probable that it is cancer (however, definite test results will be back this week). I have also started meeting with a 12-step group for compulsive overeating. These things are coming on the verge of trying to sell our home, have babies, move...I'm overwhelmed. I don't know whether to isolate and cry or ignore or what. I am thankful that I haven't turned to food to comfort myself.

We need your intercessory prayers-for healing and for peace. Speak for us where we can not. My faith and trust abilities are shaken by these things. Yet I am reminded that we do not have to bear these things alone. Jeremy and I are blessed to have a community that will lift us up. If we can do the same for you, let us. Mutual edification provides an opportunity to give back to all who support us.

So, I heard some good advice last week, not knowing it would come to my aid so soon. When faced with difficult situations, instead of turning to the behavior I know so well and doing the things that seem to bring temporal relief (eating, anger, victim mentality, bitterness, acting out) I say to myself "not today." This day is all that there is. I can not look any further, nor can I rely on the past. When I look at things in the span of a day instead of weeks, months and years, situations seem more manageable. That in combination with unwrenching my futile attempts at control and giving them to the God I serve give me strength.

Hebrews 3:13: "...and let us encourage one another while it is still called Today..."

No Day But Today.

Unexpected Worship

Do you ever have a time when you are unexpectedly hit with the desire to worship? Sometimes nuggets of wisdom come at unexpected times! Mine particularly come from music and the written word. Today I was listening to some worship songs and singing along while doing menial tasks, and I was overwhelmed for a few moments by the words "...my name is written on His heart." I had to stop what I was doing and put my hands up in thankgiving and surrender to my God.

I believe the Holy Spirit moves in and among us, even when we do not activly seek its counsel. Hearts become primed for formation. I like that word more and more...formation. The word "change" seems very rigid. The word formation implies more of a molding and I like that because it fits the human condition a little better. We are constantly being molded and refined. I think that's what overcame me for a few moments today. It was unexpected, but not unpleasant. In confronting the demons of guilt, I often wonder if God wants me. Hearing the sentiment that my name is written on His heart was such a comfort! Oh Counselor Spirit! My own heart is softened, and I can do naught but praise You. So I stopped, and I did.

Frenzy

New craft post up over at Heirloom House!  

There is so much going on.  We have found a house to rent in Lubbock.  Movers came today to meet with Jeremy and get an estimate of what we've got that they'll haul.  We've had lots of lookers at our home in Missouri City, but no offers yet.  It is, however, forcing us to keep the house clean, which, upon further reflection, is probably how we were supposed to be living all along.  

I love Spring time.  We've had beautiful weather for several days now, that came in on the heels of fantastic storms last weekend.  

We had a great trip to California.  We have scads of pictures on Jeremy's Facebook page.  It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.  Our hosts are family friends, and had some great stories to tell about my parents.  They were so gracious to us, and more than generous with their time and resources.  I miss them a lot and wasn't ready to come home.  Their daughter and I have struck up conversations via email, and I'm glad for that budding relationship.

That's about it for now.  Please pray for our friend Chelsie's sister, Christin.  She was in a terrible car accident and we're on our knees for her.  The link to her blog is in my side bar "One Day At A Time" and you can read the story there.  Please add Christin to you your prayers.

Give love.